Saturday, November 8, 2008


I loved him. He held me and hugged me and loved me right back. We used to watch cartoons in bed on Saturday morning until noon. And cops, and Bob Barker on Price is Right. Now Drew Carey does Price is Right and I watch cartoons with my little girl and he is in the hospital. From a heart attack. He told me "We don't last forever" and I told him "You are my Dad, you have to." I hated him. When he sent me to my mom and never came back for me. I felt lost, and abandoned. He was my life, and I was his. Who was I at 4 without him? I was angry and I took it out on the only person I knew to, my new "dad." But even when I hated him, I loved him. How do you cope with the possibility of losing someone who means so much to you. Whether or not I agree with him or his lifestyle is irrelevant. He is my Dad and he still crosses my mind everyday and I love him. I know you aren't close to me Dad. But 2000 miles does nothing to my love for you...Please dont go. I just dont want to lose you. I love you Daddy. I always have.

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