Saturday, April 2, 2011

I'm tired. Or whatever that word is thats between tired and flat on the floor unable to move. The odd thing is that I didn't do much today. Some dishes, cleaned a bedroom, two loads of laundry and got the mail. I also took care of two energetic little girls but still, before I had my knee surgery today would have been a peice of cake. Now everything takes twice as much effort and it's so depressing. I make lists and can't complete all the tasks. My depression leads to more wanting to do nothing so then I fight not only it but my inability to do too much. It is a vicious cycle, this whole knee thing. To top it all off I am supposed to do PT excercises twice a day but I am so swollen ALL the time from everything that I do that I can't do the excerises. Or maybe thats an excuse. All I know is that nothing is getting easier and I am just getting more frustrated. Phoey on knee surgery. They want me to do my right knee when I am done healing from this one and to that I say "UH UH, NO WAY, NEVER, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS." Until it gets really bad and hurts to the point that knee surgery does, I will not put myself through this again anytime soon.

On a more positive note! I love my life. Jeff and I have been through so much throughout our almost six year marriage and there was even one point where we weren't even together. I felt like we were both trying at different times and never trying together and now that we are, we are A-M-A-zing! We have so many positive things happening for us. Although some would see our move from our gorgeous house into an apartment as a bad thing we see it as an investment in our future. It will open up so many options for us and it makes me excited to think of paying off our credit and saving for a house...THE house! I am also so excited to be living in town. I love going to church and I love the friendships that I have there but I feel like where I live seriously affects my ability to build relationships with my fellow sisters. I am anxious to see strong bonds form and with it my testimony grow. I know that it is sometimes the drive to town that prevents me from going on sundays and this move will eliminate all excuses. I hope Jeff and I are finally able to settle into a town and feel as if we belong. As if it is somewhere we want and need to stay.

Now I am going to sit in my recliner, ice my knee, and watch General Conference. I wonder what amazing messages the leaders of the church have in store for me :)

No comments: