Friday, April 1, 2011
And it swallowed me whole
Do you want the truth? Do you want to hear the things I think but never tell? Well...I fear you do not have enough time to listen to them. I am hopeless. I have a hole in the pit of my heart that was formed as a cause of others failures and will forever be the problem of those who try to love me now. I strive for me. I have periods of loneliness where nothing anyone says or does can fill the pit and I can feel myself start to shut down. I shut down too often for my own comfort. I never know what causes it or even how to cause it to stop. I know that I fear my emotional shut downs. I know I fear the hole will one day expand so large that I will be swallowed into its eternal black bliss and all that will be left of me will be the memory of what never was. Gah. Sometimes, life is so complicated. And my head feels like a maze that I just cannot seem to escape. How do you sort the sordid past out from the present and prevent it from complicating the future?
Posted by ~Lisa Renee~ at 8:43 PM